Days that seem to speed on by

Can you believe is April already? I mean, wasn't it just December last week? I don't know about the rest of you, but it seems like so much has happened the past four months that a whole year could have gone by, and yet if you turn over the coin it seems like time is just flying by.

Today I woke up at 10. Actually I was before that, but I laid in bed cuddling my cat, snuggled up next to my husband, listening to the birds chirping outside. Then I got up, made myself a hot drink, and took my bible out side to read in the early morning sun. Tasia, my cat, was rather active so I put her on her leash and took her out to play in the dew strewn grass. I got about an hour of reading in before the neighbor girl saw me sitting outside and headed over to say hello. She is rather loud and rambunctious, but this time she came quietly and Tasia let her pet her. It was rather cute.

I suppose it sounds odd that I woke up at 10 on a Sunday morning, but yesterday we went with some friends to an evening meeting. A speaker from the states was vising someone she knew so she asked if we all wanted to go and hear what he had to say.  I had already heard what he was sharing in the final two meetings, but there is something to be said for hearing things you already know from another perspective. He did make some good points, however, about how our out ward shows of religious fervor should be toned back, and in many cases should be considered for private worship rather than the possibility of doing such behaviors and being seen as being prideful, or merely wishing to show off or even imitate others. I of course just now reworded it, but the way he put it was rather well put and stuck with me.

I think its fascinating how you can get a group of strangers in a home, or some small area and they just seem to mesh into this mass of interesting conversations. Last night, amid all the conversations, a Tom turkey was strutting around proudly announcing to the world that 7 little ones had hatched the night before. I am quite sure many in the room thought I was rather odd as I had a very hard time keeping my grins to myself each time he gobbled. After most of the people had traveled home, one of the ladies came out with two brand new kittens. They were adorable.

Today I started spring cleaning in our bedroom. I aired out the blankets, changed the sheets, swept, vacuumed and mopped the floor/carpet and washed down the rails, walls and side tables. Got the kitchen started too. I am not done with either room, but at least they are started and looking and feeling much better. I have decided that we need to sort through the house. we have to many things. But that will take time.


One accomplishment lately is that I have read 4 and 1/2 books in the past month. I haven't been doing a lot of reading lately, so to have that many in a month is a positive thing for me. I even ordered myself a book from a series I read a bit from in college just because. It's been like 4 years since I bought my self a "play" book. I have also been reading a book called "Is it really that simple? - a biblical look on healing the mind." i'm afraid I don't recall who the author is right now, but its a case study a psychologist did on several patients where the normal way of treating a patient didn't work. I picked it up from a professional curiosity and as it was highly recommended by a counselor friend I know, I thought it would be an interesting read. So far it is. I am about half way through it.

And that's today's - Tea time for two...... what did you drink today?

The Learning Curve

Today, Jan 14, was a special day for me, in a rather hard way. Instead of wallowing in self pity, or allowing my head to go to sad or depressing thoughts, I  chose to continue the thinking process I have had the past few days. I also chose to go to work, and even though I found it hard to stay focused, and even had to tell the woman in charge of the class room I was working in why I was a bit distracted, I feel it was therapeutic for me to do.

I even went back and updated and added to the My "simple" garden path blog post that I had written last February as I realized a lot of the things I had gone through and what they really meant.

These past 11 months have been quite trying on me, and I was looking back over them wondering what I have learned and how I have changed during the process.

I have learned the difference between sexual attraction, family love, brotherly love, and Agape in ways that I could never have imagined.

I have become stronger in what I believe, and in my search for truth.

I have become a stronger person as I have passed through this fiery time, and I as  continue to pass through it.

 I have learned that I do have a voice, and that I do have important things to say. I have learned that I do not need to put up with others bad thoughts, or words, or feelings nor do I need to care about them. They are living their own lives... let them wallow in what ever deep murky pit they choose to be in. However, I will be there for them when they decided to seek for help.

I have learned that I am worthy of love and affection, and that I should never withhold myself from one who is seeking friendship. I have learned that to do withhold myself can cause future pain and remorse as well.

I have learned that through sickness and pain I can also become more focused and determined.

I have learned that even a cat who does not show affection can see and understand grief and pain and changed to become a loving caring individual.

Most of all I have learned that God wants to be my best friend... to fill the loss that I have experienced and that when I allow him to reside in my heart others can see him through me.

I have learned that I can reach past the boundaries of my fear and touch the lives of others both physically and spiritually in ways I only dreamed and long to do before.

And I have learned that when one asks in desperation for something from God, even if they don't quite know what they are asking for, He will often give it, even if it something as powerful as a double portion of ones spirit.

I have learned many things, and I will continue to. My grief is still not completely over, but I am moving on in power and hope knowing God has a plan for my life, and that this pain I have been forced to endure will work in be to better my character for his glory.

Both pictures were taken from the internet and are not mine.

Sabbath Blessings

.....I wish I could say I used lots of imagination, but the above picture is to spur you into using your imagination and perhaps you can see what I have been up to last little bit.

I wish I had taken notes over the time since September. I sort of did, if I went back and read all my conversations with Rhy, but I have not taken that time. So I will try to remember. Most likely what I remember is the most important anyway!

In September i wrote and posted pictures of my garden. It was such a little thing, but I must admit I was quite proud of the results. It was a thrill to bring produce from my own garden to the table.

I had an interview in September. This picture was taken moments before I left. I felt good that day, and the interview went well. However after talking aback and forth through the month Kyrre and I decided that the amount of money being put out to get to the job, or to move and the amount of stress I would have to go through at the job was not worth the small amount of income I would have left. So we turned down the job.

Kyrre and I attended a family outing with his extended family. I was rather annoyed that because Kyrre has gained so much weight since his cancer treatments some of his family members felt he over ate, and made small hurtful remarks in that directions. I was humored however when watching the plates of food they consumed to Kyrres 2 rather modest ones.

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Pond at the family gathering

 

 

 

 

My favorite picture of the year. I took this.

During my time of waiting for work, yes I managed to get a sub job as a kindergarten teacher with a sub agency, I was privileged to attend hydrotherapy classes at the Bible school. It was over two weeks, and I attend each class. I do have one more hydrotherapy practical application to go through as it conflicted with a physical therapist appointment, but I passed the class and will get credit towards Wildwoods online classes if I choose to take them. Here is the set up for the days practical.

Teachers demonstrating the first hydro treatment

I enjoyed the classes, however I managed to break a blood vessel in my finger this day. No idea how.

It healed quickly due to the fact that during the hydro treatment I simultaneously did hot and cold treatments on this finger for 3 hours. I didn't realise til I got home that broken the vessel.

Its been quiet other wise. I have had some very positive times with Vivians mother the past few months as she has needed help, or wanted company. It is not perfect. I still have to gauge her carefully at times, as she can change her mood towards me with the weather.... but I am thankful that I can keep my promise to Vivian. If things should ever change, I will continue to pray for her.

The last fun event was a party we attended for friends at Church. She was turning 40, he 50 and they had been married 10 years... so it was a 100year party. It was a long one, 6 hours, but I was in attendance with my husband and Vivians mom and w all had a blast. These were our place markers.

Its been a good couple months. Thankfully my grieving stage has passed, although I still miss Vivian and will do so probably until time comes to a close. I have seen and experienced lots of fun things and look forward to more. I have been studying the bible a lot these past months and found things I had never known before. I am excited to be learning and look forward to learning more.

Today I got a call from a friend inviting us to Sabbath dinner, and another Friend dropped by with food. We are also being loaned some money... so my weird paycheck mishap has been covered. Wasn't going to get it until January! So we have food, and gas money to last until I get paid again at the end of the month. Praise God for that!

Oh ! We got our first snow today. So pretty.

What is up with you?

It's been a while since I have even had the desire to sit down and chat. And now I am not even sure what to say.

I have had lots going on the past few months, but sometimes it just seems like nothing is going on at the same time! So I plan to think about it over the weekend, jot down ideas that come to me, and blog you around thefirst of the week. How does that sound?

till then,

How are you? You have my email! Write me!

My last two months in photos....

My first garden harvest.

Morning of my interview

Trying to find a solution for cuddle time while NOT ruining my new sweater. She loved it

Vivian and her fathers grave stone. The inscription reads, See I am coming soon. Yes, even so come Lord Jesus

Tired of my shoes clunking away in the closet, I bought this and asked Kyrre to place it in. nearly 2 hours later, and tearing part the closet, he managed to make it fit. It isn't coming back out.

Me. myself, and what on earth am I talking about!

Last Friday nights sunset

 It is 7:30 pm and I am just now eating supper. I almost never eat past 6, but today I was not hungry. I didn't feel motivated either, which is rather odd if you consider what I did today! I woke up, talked Kyrre into a walk before brunch, ate, and loaded the dish washer, and set tapioca out to soak. Then I dragged him out window shopping. I had the urge to check out the supplies at one of the local stores to see if they had the same things their sister store had in a neighboring town. Mainly, I just wanted to get out of the house. Then we browsed through the hardware store, because, its manly and I though Kyrre would enjoy that after looking at kitchen stuff.

When I got home, I started a batch of bread, cooked the tapioca pudding, so we would have something cool for the evening, and cooked red lentil soup and made a salad.

Window shopping was fun, but not nearly as fun as getting caught in a freak rain storm on the way to the mail box. I had seen a few drops falling on my way out, but it was so scattered I didn't do much but through my wind breaker on. by the time I got to the end of the drive way I was getting hit with grape sized random rain drops. Then I heard a weird sound and looked up to see a wall of water, in the form of rain of course, rushing down the street to me. I just started laughing and kept walking. I didn't quicken my pace, nor did I care. Bu the time I got back to the house my coat and pants were soaked and I was grinning like a child who had just been giving a present to open.

When I got home I decided to share the love and wrapped my soaked coat around my cat, wet side in. She was thoroughly thrilled, as you could imagine, and didn't speak to me for nearly an hour. It was fun though.

My niece zipped herself up in this. Played with it for two days straight

 Yesterday I finally finished my job of cleaning Vivian's room by taking the last of the things to her mom. I wasn't sure if she wanted to chat or not, so I had made an appointment one hour before my physical therapist appointment. That way if she wanted to boot me out the door I didn't have to find something to do for hours, and if she did, we could chat without it feeling like it had to be a long conversation. She did want to chat, and would have loved for me to stay longer. It was fun to talk, and get things worked out between us. I found out that clothes I was supposed to get from her had indeed been dropped off at the school, and that two individuals, without permission, and gone through them and taken stuff home. Sigrunn was madder than a hornet. I tired everything I could think of to calm her down, but she kept saying that this dress and that out fit she had though would be perfect on me, and twice she nearly picked up the phone to call the individuals. Honestly I wasn't trying to get them in trouble. She asked me what had happened to the clothes and stuff, as was her right to know, and I told her mater of factly! I was sad though because the dresses I had hoped to get were in that bag, and I didn't get any of them. I so desperately needed dresses too. I also found out in the visit why Vivian died.

So my visit was both a good and a sad one. At least the rest of the day I was a bit down. But thankfully, I can now move on past all the jobs that needed done. Everything is done. The stone will arrive in a few weeks. I will post a picture for everyone to see, not that you WANT to, but because I have been talking so much about Vivian that it will be good to end the conversations with that finished thought. I still miss her terribly. I still cry from time to time, but I am happy again, I have moved on and I know that even though that place in my heart will always be empty, God is here to fill and repair all the little cuts and worn out areas.

I am so tired and worn out right now. Had my niece and nephew over for a week and they are so much fun, but they have so much energy too. I am going to go eat. I think my soup is cool enough!

I have decided, or rather come to the realization that I am an over analyzer. I am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but it seems to have more negatives than positives to it. Need to find a way of balancing it!

Camping

Moments after the tent was set up

First nights setting sun

Near the fishing cabin by the campground

The near by fishing town

Unknown couple sharing a setting sun

We had the sun on the right and the moon on the left was beautiful

Our host enjoying nature

The lone Violet

The last morning during worship

Two mins later they took off and the sound was incredible