Yesterday I was finally able to greet, comfort and hug Vivian's children, and former husband. It was wonderful to be able to hold them, and my nervousness had, as usual, been uncalled for. I had suspected that her daughter and her youngest son would be the ones who would be most upset, or moved by seeing me, but I was mistaken. It was her second eldest. He started crying down the hallway just from hearing my voice, and by the time he got to the office where I was waiting, his lip was quivering and his eyes were nearly flooding over.
It made since, once I got home and thought it over. He lived the closest of the kids, and had been around more often than the others. Vivian and I had often played together with his son, her grandson, and he would have seen the interactions between us more than the others.
The kids invited us to dinner, which we heartily accepted. After dinner I started washing up the dishes as I am custom do doing, and I had to fight back waves of emotions. Vivian always stood at my side washing when I was there as a visitor not as a worker. I kept trying to hand her dishes, before I finally remembered. Her youngest son unloaded the clean dishes then helped me load and dry. We laughed, and talked. At one point I started crying, and he put his arm around me. I should have been holding him, but he held me and it was so wonderful to have that lovely support. When we were finished with the dishes they showed us the pictures of the trip to New Zealand, and the final sermon they had at the church. Vivian's final spacial music with her son was the hardest for me because I could see instantly she was not doing well that day. She had to catch breaths in the middle of her sentences, almost as if she was gasping for breath, and she was very pale. I couldn't understand how I could see this when her family, who had been there with her could not.
It was nice to see the pictures, her family, friends, and the places she had lived while she was down there. She would have shown me the pictures herself and told of the adventures, so that is one piece of the puzzle I was glad to have filled.
I slept well. When I woke, I knew everything was going to be alright. We got confirmation this morning that her coffin has been returned to Norway and is resting over the weekend at the hospital. She will be moved here on Monday, and the funeral will be Wednesday 12:30.
My sister in law and I had song service at church, the first time we have ever sang together just us. It went really well, even though we kept listening for each other. I think we will be able to duet soon, I taking the alto. She is a cold soprano meaning she is not able to sing anything other than soprano, and I am a warm soprano meaning I can sing 2 tenor up to 1st soprano.
My only negative was a reminder again that Vivian was not there. The school staff and family were invited to lunch, and Vivian was always the one dragging us along. I am part of the family, but no one ever remembers that. But I am also glad. I found out today that Vivian's former husband is heartbroken over her death. I didn't realise he still loved her that much. They divorced 10 or 15 years ago, and Vivian thought of him as a friend, and nothing else. It was not easy to know what to say. I just keep giving him hugs, and reminding him of our hope.
Lunch is ready. Time to eat.
