Have you ever wanted something so desperately, but known it would probably never happen? Of course you have! And if you haven't, you are probably lying to yourself.
I have too. In fact, it's something that I have longed for nearly my entire life. Something that at times has driven me to distraction, sometimes I have even cried myself to sleep at night, or walked my days in a fog. What is it? That's wasn't whats important right now. What's important is that I understand those who I have talked to recently who, each one, has their own longing that they have no control over the out come. It hurts, its confusing, sometimes they wonder if they are right or wrong in wanting or needing the thing that they long for. Maybe at times they feel like they are going to go insane, or perhaps wonder if they ARE insane.
Passion will do that. Desire will do that. Longing will do that. Sometimes it will destroy you if you are not able to surrender the longing to ONE who is able to bear it. I surely can't, and I am sure that there are times you are not able to as well. This has been my focus the past month. To learn how to take this looming mountain that is standing between me and that for which I have waited, and hand it over, if only in my mind, to the ONE who can move mountains. Perhaps the mountain will never be moved. Perhaps when its moved I will discover that nothing waits for me on the other side, or that that for which I waited wasn't really worth waiting for. But whatever the case may be, I know that HE has the ultimate control and I will continue to trust HIS steady movements.
