Today is one of those days. It's raining out side, and my heart is so heavy that the thought of dancing in the rain is not even close to a consideration. So what did I do? I danced in the rain. Most people left church under umbrellas, or ran as fast as they could to their cars. The rain was cold, the wind was blowing, and they seemed very unhappy. I took it slow, and twirled. I even managed to get a 6 year old boy, with two paper airplanes, one in each hand, to twirl with me. He giggled as only a small child having fun can do. It made me smile.
When it comes to serving YAH, one must act not on feelings, but what we have been told to do. One should never go by feelings. They can be wrong, or misleading. However when we serve YAH, He will provide the feelings that are needed.
I find it hard sometimes to fight through the gloom that over shadow me. I think everyone has those moments. Sometimes its brought on by outside circumstances, wither it be people trying to tear me down, or exert their spiritual beliefs or practices on me (good or bad). Other times its just the fact that I care very much for the individual and feel their pains, or sufferings. Other times it is caused by eternal self issues, or past regressions. Today, I don't know why I am feeling such. I had a wonderful day/evening yesterday.
Perhaps I am just tired. I did get to bed rather late, and woke with only a half hour to be read for church. I rushed out so fast I even forgot my bra! That was embarrassing, and reminded me of a story my grandfather had told of a older church lady who had come to his church wearing nothing but a slip one sabbath. Thankfully I just tied my sweater together, and no one could tell. B
But even still, the over powering urge to weep pressed over me. I have taken it easy today. Cuddled with my cats, laid down for a small rest, and have decided to jot down this blog. My only solace today is that I have made it through one week of my new promise. I have consecrated myself to my God, and He has heard me and will grant my petition. How do I know this? Because he healed another area of my life I hadn't even asked him to heal when taking this promise. It gives me hope and strength to go one even though I know I have foes who would gladly see me fail to carry out their own desires.YAH is bigger and He is all powerful.
I am tired, so I will go for now. I will reach for the seemingly unreachable today, for I know that sometimes even the pursuit of it will bring upon a blessing I had never imagined could be.
